IF

After writing my last post I started pondering about my father. I think that by most people’s standard he would be considered a remarkable man.  

Consider the following: 

I never witnessed him lose his temper. I never heard him shout or yell. I never heard him use a curse word. I never saw him angry toward those he loved (disappointed but never angry). I never saw him angry at a stranger. 

He was a man in command of his emotions, with self-control, he never allowed himself to be controlled by circumstances or situations. He was fiercely loyal to family and friend.  Perhaps the war helped shape these abilities.  He served in World War 2.

Please do not reason that he was weak, indifferent or unemotional. He was one who could deal with life and any conflict in calm control; his presence alone could control a tense situation.  He never allowed someone to provoke or prod him into reacting inappropriately.   

This same man that had such command of his emotions never held back his feelings when he was happy or amused; he had a smile that lit up his entire face and his eyes danced when he laughed. He had no difficulty expressing joy and happiness.  He delighted in his family. 

His favorite poem was titled “IF” written by Rudyard Kipling. I still remember being in the car with him as he recited the poem to me in its entirety. I was amazed that he still remembered a poem that he had memorized from high school over 40 years earlier. 

I thought I’d share it with you. . . 

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son! 

The poem, "If" by Kipling was written as a tribute to Leander Star Jameson, a British politician and as advice to his own son John. 

I wonder if my dad used this as a blueprint for his own personal integrity. 

This is a picture of my Dad walking me down the aisle at my wedding.
He was 80 years old in this picture. . .