What's the use?

And I am convinced and sure of this very thing that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up until the day of His return], developing and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.  Philippians 1: 6

          Have you ever been in place (maybe you are there now) in your Christian life [walk] that you began to question, or to consider what is the use? It just doesn't seem to be working for me. The joy and expectation of God's Work in your life is nearly nonexistent.  Somewhere along the way your journey with Christ is now more of a routine, it's something you do; it is what you do because it's what you are supposed to do; it's become a habit.

          Maybe you teach Sunday school; maybe you have a position in your church.  But it has become more obligatory.  If you volunteer to do something or help in some capacity; when the time approaches you wish that you hadn't? 

          I've been there; a place where it seemed futile to try to continue on pretending that "all is well". I became miserable and lonely; my life inwardly (my heart) started to crumble. I became sensitive, emotional, and defensive.  Yet week after week I continued to "do" all the things a Christian was supposed to do.  Daily I still prayed, but they were shallow prayers that I sensed was going nowhere. 

          Meanwhile at home the enjoyment of "living" was starting to diminish. It became harder to find purpose and have the motivation to do anything more than what was expected.

          How I got to this place in my life, would be more supposition then knowledge. However I do think that somewhere between all my children leaving home and also that I was no longer working (at a paid job); "time" was a commodity I had plenty of. But I didn't use my time wisely.  Instead I permitted other people and my own silly expectations of myself to dictate where I went and what I did on any given day.  I had failed to plan my own life!  Not because someone was forcing me to do what I didn't want to do; but I felt duty bound. I had a false sense of responsibility. 

          Unfortunately my relationship with the Lord was waning and my husband sensed it.  One day he asked me if I'd like to come into the living room and talk. Now this was not common place I assure you!  Talk?  I think the roles got reversed.  Naturally I thought there was something wrong with him, and so I (reluctantly) went and sat down.  Instead he started asking about me!  He reassured his love for me and tried to reaffirm his commitment to our marriage (poor guy thought whatever was going on with me was because of him). 

          I know longer could hold back, I let it all spill out… (Yep, he was hit with a bomb shell.)  Everything came out into the open, my feelings, my misery, my loneliness, my doubts, everything!  Actually it was the first time I had spoken the words out loud and I didn't like what I was hearing coming from my own mouth! 

          After my emotions calmed down, I started to see (for myself) what my problem was. I was no longer experiencing God's presence and love.  I had come to a point where I was using knowledge only.

          Thankfully I didn't receive ridicule, or admonishment, and he didn't preach to me (probably because that's what I had accused him of doing when I was spilling my guts!) Instead he just spoke a few kind words and we went on about our daily tasks. 

          That was a turning point for me because the Lord brought Ephesians 3:19 to my mind, (I really had to go to Biblegateway.com and do a key word search because I couldn't remember where the verse was!).

[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]; that you may be filled [through all your being] unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]!

         

          So there it was, I now had the conformation of what was wrong; and whose fault was that? Mine!  I had stopped asking or allowing the Lord to be included in everything I do and everywhere I go. Not on purpose but out of neglect.  I carelessly overlooked including Him moment by moment in my daily life. Instead He was only included occasionally throughout my day.  And that is not acceptable! 

          I was lonely because the most important Person in my life was only included for a few minutes each day.  I was miserable because I had stopped allowing the Lord to direct my daily path; I was going nowhere without any purpose (In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths…  I neglected this verse!).  By not allowing Him to daily give me direction I had allowed other people to determine the outcome of my day.  I felt duty bound to people instead of bound in my duty to God.  I had a false sense of responsibility because my first responsibility is to the Lord not to myself or others. 

          That day I opened my heart and allowed the hidden issues within me to be exposed.  Exposed to myself and revealed to God; not that God doesn't already know our hearts, but I allowed Him in that area I had tried to hide. At the time I would not have even recognized that I was hiding anything. 

And I am convinced and sure of this very thing that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up until the day of His return], developing and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you. 

           Why did I write this verse at the top of this page?  Because I was convinced that God had no use for me!  That He was displeased or no longer desired to be near me... All the while it had been me not including Him!  The Lord is so faithful and loving toward us that He will not (He does not ever) give up on us, or get discouraged with us. He will continue to develop us and perfect us. What He starts He finishes! 

         There is nothing that brings more satisfaction into our lives then knowing that the Lord is with you, guiding you, holding you, helping you.  He isn't "out there" but He is here next to me. When I stand up and walk into another room, He comes with me!  I know it, I sense it, and He promises it! 

Proverbs 16:3 Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed.

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live].